Letters for the Culture: An Unhealthy Preference for White Men

Written by on 18 January 2018

We would like to commend this listener’s bravery and introspection in regards to writing and sending this letter in! Does anyone have any tips or suggestions on how he can handle this dilemma? Comment below!”

“I’m black and gay and grew up in an environment of very homophobic black men. From my father and my 5 older brothers to my all black high school, the image of the “black man” that I saw growing up was that they are super masculine, super homophobic, hated me, bullied me, and had nothing in common with me. The only black allies I had in my coming out journey have been the black females in my life.

When I went to college, I went to a very liberal art school of mostly white guys. They were the complete opposite. Very gay friendly and accepted me for who I was. As a result, I notice that I tend to like white men more. I’m not at a Todrick Hall level yet. I still love my black gays and have dated men of all races, black included, but I can’t help but feel I have an unhealthy preference for white men. Most of my celeb crushes are white, most of my tinder/Grindr guys are white, and most of my porn is white. My friends even have recognized it to the point where they won’t even bring up a guy around me unless it’s a white guy. I feel terrible about it.

What tips do you have on correcting this?”


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